Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
