she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
i may or may not be watching the land before time
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
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