There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
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