Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
