wat bout pragnant strippers??
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
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