Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
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Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
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I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
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