I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
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