the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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