Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
COCAINE IS GR8
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
