so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Randomize
