I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
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Let's paint friendship bongs
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
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Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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