i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize
