Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
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