there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
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