yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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