watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
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