I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
He? As in you personified your dick?
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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