i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
