I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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