went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
