I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
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