Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
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Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
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In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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