So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
