cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
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