this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
