i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
