This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
