I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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