She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
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