Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
