he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
