After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Randomize
