can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize
