I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
