try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Randomize
