Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
