Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Randomize
