I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize
