He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Randomize
