The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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