yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
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