I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
