I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
