booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Green mimosas i think yes
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
