I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Randomize
