I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Randomize
