She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
