It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Randomize