just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Randomize
