i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
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