Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Randomize
