It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Mom said you looked used
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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