Sponge bath it is.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
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