I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
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