remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
