Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Even my vagina gasped.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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