I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
