My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
I want a musical about memes.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
