The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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